sermon @ the mart

¹as the teacher led the student thru the aisle, they said, you have heard it said, ‘a bag o’ pythagoritas for a bag o’ pythagoritas & a jar o’ almond butter for a jar o’ almond butter’; ²but i say to you, do not resist the one who offers you discounts. if one offers to fill a cheek with a free sample, turn to them the other cheek. ³& if you buy a carton of oat milk, get 1 free.

⁴when the teacher went up to checkout counter, they said to the clerk, truly i tell you, this very day, before we leave this store, your computer will deny my credit card 3 times.

⁵& the clerk said to the teacher, no, i tell you, sir, that this computer works fine.

⁶but when the clerk tried to swipe the card, it was denied, & when he tried it ’gain, it was denied ’gain, & when he tried it a 3rd time, it was denied a 3rd time. only on the 4th try did the credit card go thru; ⁷& the clerk was so amazed by the wonder that the teacher had performed before him that he offered a 15%-off coupon for their next trip.